• Matthew 19:3-9 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
  • Malachi 2:16 (NKJV)   For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…

As God hates divorce, you need to fight for your marriage and help others fight for theirs.

The words of our Master are clear. Our society may not like them but they are clear nonetheless. Are we giving our approval to divorce to please men just like Moses did? Under whose authority are we changing the Word? Jesus gave one reason and one reason only for divorce. To those of you whose spouse cheated and want nothing more than a divorce, you might want to ask God what He wants you to do. Several individuals, after an adulterous relationship, were asked by God to stay married. Read Hosea’s story in the Bible – Hosea 3:1 – The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” Some have had powerful ministries after choosing to work through their marital challenges. Be guided by the Lord instead of your feelings. The Word does say unfaithfulness is a reason to leave. However, even in the midst of your pain, seek God’s direction for your situation, as He knows the plans He has for you.

Don’t see your mate as the enemy; see the devil as the enemy that is trying to destroy your marriage. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). For all challenging situations, since Jesus did not give you the right to leave, you are equipped to deal with them in prayer, by using your power and authority over the enemy, by involving your Covenant Partner, etc. Start contending for your marriage instead of allowing discontent, frustration and even grumbling to take root. Don’t allow yourself to look around and start thinking of other people as more compatible with you. Don’t let adultery take root in your heart, even in thought. Command the enemy out of your marriage in the Name of Jesus and take authority over every negative situation. Ask God to change your own heart so that you would see marriage as He does, a covenant that needs to be respected and protected against outside forces. Love your way to victory! Pray your way to victory! Command your way (over the enemy and adverse circumstances) to victory! Seek God’s direction and let His Spirit guide you.

How to fight to have a good marriage (even if it appears absolutely hopeless):
  1. Read what God said about marriage in His Word and take it to heart. Declare the Word over your marriage – what God has put together let no man separate. When you marry, you are no longer two but you are one flesh. Pray for your marriage. If your heart is not into it, ask God to change your heart. He can only change what is entrusted to Him.
  2. Spend time in the Word as well as time praising and worshiping God. It may change your perspective totally. Ask God to help you rebuild your relationship as it’s His desire for a couple to stay together. Ask Him how to turn your marriage around. He knows all things and when you cast your cares upon Him, He can do something about it. Listen to the Holy Spirit as He leads you and guides you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5).
  3. Contend for your marriage and realize that the enemy is real and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy. If you can’t see the real enemy, you will not be in a position to contend for what belongs to you – a good, godly, wonderful marriage. Command the enemy out of your marriage in the Name of Jesus and take authority over every negative situation. Bind enemy forces coming against your marriage. Bind any spirit causing abuse in the Name of Jesus Christ and loose the power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit in your marriage. Seek God’s wisdom in your situation and His leading to obtain the victory.
  4. You will have to do one of the hardest things for a human being and that is to crucify your flesh (mind, emotions, will and body). You need to keep strife at bay for it will give Satan a bigger foothold in your marriage. You’ll have to keep yourself from grumbling about your marriage or your mate. Choose to be right with God by obeying His Word and listening to His leading rather than insist on being right (your spouse may have done something wrong but God may get you to overlook it to please Him). If you can’t say anything good, don’t say it. You’ll have to make sure your thoughts, words and actions align with the Word of God. Additionally, make Spirit-led decisions.
  5. If you don’t love your spouse, ask God to change your heart. God can change you, if you give Him the authority. Ask God to enable you to see marriage as He does, a covenant that needs to be respected and protected against outside forces.
  6. Determine to put love in action in your marriage regardless of how you feel. Choose to bless your spouse in different ways (God’s ways are higher than our ways). Ask God to help you as you do. Pray a blessing over your spouse daily. Thank the Lord for some positive aspect about your spouse every day.
  7. Be mindful of temptation and resist it. Often in frustrating circumstances, we choose feelings and wants over God’s Word. (I pray protection over you right now if you’re being tempted by the enemy to falter or give up. I pray wisdom and a renewed fight to protect what God has determined to be a covenant. In Jesus’ Name I pray.) Remember that you have a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).
  8. Pray in tongues for extended periods of time, as often it’s difficult to know what to pray for. The Holy Spirit assists in our weaknesses (Romans 8:26).

Call to action:
Fight for your marriage with all that’s in you and with the guidance and leading of the Holy Spirit. He’ll tell you when it’s time to crucify your flesh (not say a word). If you ask God to change your heart towards your spouse, He will. Take authority and protect your covenant relationship against Satan. The thief seeks to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) but you have been given authority to defeat him (Luke 10:19).